Detox Diary: 2019 Going all the Way!

It has been awhile since my last Detox Dairy update. I am always amazed looking back and measuring my progress, this keeps me accountable and driven to keep pushing with purposeful passion. I still have a very long way to go, but I am going all the way! I have met many of the challenges I set for myself last year, and I am still learning to master the ones that have been harder to accomplish.

I use this as a guideline to help me stay on track with my life’s task, maintaining focus and balance. This is my 4th Winter season after a polydrugged cold turkey, and it has now been 5.5 years since fluoroquinolone antibiotics (administered with steroids) decimated my already tenuous state of health and well being.

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After such extensive and long-term injury, I have learned the hard way to keep a slow and steady pace (I shared my story in this post when I began blogging). I keep the pace that my body sets, and have learned to be patient with the process. The body has an amazing ability to heal, so long story short, I try to stay out of the way and provide my body with gentle love and support. I also pay attention to what I put in, on, and around my body. I continue to unlearn many toxic habits of a very unhealthy lifestyle, and the SAD Diet.

I am able to sleep better now (an average of 8 hours a night), though when triggered this can still be a struggle. I often have energy throughout the day, but sometimes, I have to rest more. I still do not have a “normal” energy level, and can get fatigued if I over exert myself, but after years of being mostly bedridden, it is such a great feeling to just be OUT OF BED!
After years of supplementing I now only take a few regularly, and opt for herbs over other modes of treatment. Right now, I am taking a B12 supplement, along with bromelain. This has made a big difference for the fluoroquinolone tendon injury that I had sustained over the years. I learned this from a dear friend who is a clinical herbalist and studied alternative sports medicine in college. Derived from the stem of pineapple, Bromelain is just another testimony to the astounding benefits of fruit!

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I take milk thistle in an alcohol free tincture form, or if I run out I make a tea with it. I also take a blend of royal jelly, bee pollen, and propolis.

I also use small amounts of activated charcoal orally, and benonite clay topically.
I have been adding many herbs to my baths, these include comfrey leaf, comfrey root, burdock root, rose buds, lavender, witch hazel, and plantain. I like to be experimental with ingredients such as citrus peel, apple cider vinegar and aloe. Personally, I no longer use epsom salts (due to sulphur), but I will use dead sea salts.

I make herbal infusions with different combinations of the following herbs:

Plantain
Chickweed
Stinging Nettle
Dandelion Leaf
Cleavers
Olive Leaf
Burdock Root
Dandelion Root
Red Root
Goldenrod
Goldenseal
Echinacea
Mullein
Marshmallow Root

I will be adding in more herbs as I go such as chaste tree berry, black walnut hull, prickly ash, butchers broom, uva ursi.

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I also use many culinary herbs, and I like to make a parsley/thyme tea, often adding it to a soup or dressing.
I use cayenne, fenugreek, fennel, ginger, turmeric, cilantro, mint, and basil regularly.

I have been making fruit and herbal infused waters to focus on hydration. I usually put the herbs and fruit into a 32oz. mason jar of clean water, and chill overnight. In the morning I strain the water, and add the fruit/herbs to smoothies or other raw recipes. I love adding spirulina and moringa to my smoothies for an extra lift!

I continue to eat an organic, whole food, and plant-based diet. I now eat 95 percent of my meals raw, with 80 percent of them being raw fruit. I am weaning off of digestive enzymes, I was taking 5-7 daily and now take 1 or less daily. I now only use them when I eat fats or cooked foods. I do not get fats from oils, but do get them by way of coconut, avocados, seeds, and nuts. I do not hyper focus on proteins, fats, or calories, and just listen to what my body wants/needs.

I limit the use of garlic (unless I need it to treat an infection), and no longer consume onions, with the exception of green onions and chives. I no longer eat potatoes, and am in the process of eliminating high sulfuric like foods, nuts, millet, quinoa, and corn. The nuts, grains, and seeds that I do eat are soaked or sprouted, which makes a big difference in my experience.

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For me healing is more than physical, I also focus on healing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I have also been focusing on learning various forms of meditation, and breath work. I cannot express how much this has helped me manage through the pain and fear. It also helps me to quiet my thoughts, and often this is when I get clear and divine direction on how to proceed. This often helps me process the information that I have learned and achieve executive function.

I continue to build a structure that works for me, as adaptive daily life skills are an immense struggle for me with autism and traumatic brain injury. I have dry erase boards, planners, and checklists to help me be able to accomplish things like going to the grocery market, etc. I also use a technique that I learned from my old psychiatrist, called recall technique.

I still need help doing many things, but the skills I have learned thus far help me to be able to attend to my basic needs, and go on small outings. When at a stable baseline, I can now read, write, sleep, walk, attend to essential errands, do basic housechores, prepare my meals, take baths and showers. and attend small and limited social functions such as church or small group meditations.

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I can talk without stuttering now, and I have learned to embrace my “oddness”.

I wear a mask in public, and often people stare or ask me questions. I still struggle with sensory issues, especially in public, but I actually talk with a few people when I am out these days. I have a loving support system, that keeps me safe, helping me continue to learn and build communication, social skills (though I still find conversation strangely confusing).

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Living with decades of fluoroquinolone damage and after nearly three years of protracted withdrawal I had nearly lost hope. I remember the day when I reached the bottom very well. After being stuck for days in bed, I went for a small walk, feeling defeated by yet another unsuccessful food experiment. I had tried again to eat animal protein and consumed 3 tablespoons of organic, diluted bone broth, the fallout was catastrophic. The little bit of progress I had made was wiped away and I was back to square one.

I had been there so many times, but this time was different. After years of food journaling, and supplements, I had reached an impasse. I felt beaten up, exhausted, and terribly confused. I had tried all of the different “healing” diets, and reached the point where I literally had no idea what to eat. I prayed to the Cosmos on that walk, so defeated and done, literally sobbing I begged for some kind of direction. I had not ever felt such a deep hopelessness and I was losing the will to carry on with this life.

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That evening I watched a video that another Aspie friend had sent me a few weeks previously. I sat afterwards in a stunned state of shock, I could barely believe what was unfolding. The divine light of truth had finally shined upon me, revealing the path I had been so desperately seeking. I do not ignore divine synchronicity, and I have not looked back since that day!

This is so much more than treatment for me, I have evolved and changed so much throughout this process, and honestly it astounds me! This is simply the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life. I still go through waves of difficult symptoms, but I know that is just a part of this process. I know that I can take it and I am Ready!

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I am grateful for the suffering, and celebrate the struggle as I journey on to Wellness! Recently, I watched a short film Ram Dass made after a stroke that has partially paralyzed him. It was so powerful and inspiring to me when he said, “I don’t wish you the stroke, but I wish you the grace from the stroke.” I aspire towards grace by embracing the challenges before me, my path aflame with the passion of living out my Life’s Task of sharing Love, Hope, Joy, and Healing!
💜💪 Annabelle

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